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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682246">we're not just best friends (you know that)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxaroni/pseuds/maxaroni'>maxaroni</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, M/M, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara is a pining mess, Sara Rubin being a good friend, Shane Madej is oblivous, emphasize the 'mess' part, i tagged GDV bc there's puking, idk - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:09:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxaroni/pseuds/maxaroni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The topic switches to weddings during their night out drinking and Ryan pukes. </p><p>-</p><p>PROMPT #6: “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”</p><p>https://wordsnstuffblog.com/post/159225723535/best-friend-turned-lover-dialoguesituational</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara &amp; Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin, background Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we're not just best friends (you know that)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! This didn't end up following the prompt exactly, but I couldn't have written it without the inspiration from the prompt, so I still attached the link! Enjoy! Pls leave comments, I love feedback. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan has never felt so sick before. Not during any of his numerous cases with stomach flu as a child, not when he sat in the hospital after a pile of<em> fucking bricks </em>fell on him, not before any huge tests in school, not in the anxiety-ridden seconds before he'd opened his admissions letter to Chapman University, not in any of the haunted locations he'd been to <em>ever</em>. In his entire anxiety-filled life, nothing has ever made Ryan feel absolutely sick to his fucking stomach as the sentence that just left Sara’s mouth.</p><p>They’re outside a bar on a heated patio (which has a false awning, patterns of wood above their heads with fairy lights littered through them, and thank god it's heated because it's pretty cold in LA tonight) on the second floor. They just finished filming for the finale of this season of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural last night and celebratory drinks have always been a custom for the Ghoul Boys and the crew.</p><p>Plus Sara, this time. Ryan takes a drink of whatever he’s got in his hand (he forgets for a moment until the taste hits his tongue): a warm apple cider, spiked with something. He doesn’t know, he’s kind of out of it; he doesn’t care to figure out. He isn’t drunk, definitely not completely sober, but not drunk nonetheless.</p><p>The night is going great for a while. Shane's sitting across from Ryan, Sara is beside Shane and some of the crew (not everybody could come) fills in the empty spots around the table. They're all having a great time; the night is filled with jokes and spirits (the ones they talk about from this season of Unsolved <em>and </em>the spirits littered around the tabletop), Shane and Ryan's constant back-and-forth, the crew rolling their eyes whenever the two won't shut up, Sara and Ryan laughing when they annoy Shane with their agreeance on dumb conspiracies. It's been going amazing and now Ryan feels like he's watching the scene from the air, seeing himself and his friends and crew outside of his own body. </p><p>Andrew and Steven announced their engagement at the office about a week ago. Nobody was shocked, but everybody was inspirited nonetheless. So now, everybody’s talking about weddings and engagement and marriage and best men and maids of honor, <em>yadda yadda</em>, so of <em>course,</em> Ryan’s toned out, because <em>ugh</em>.</p><p>"Yeah," Shane finally speaks and Ryan thinks for a second that he may be just as floored as himself, but it's probably just with excitement. Sara's eyes observe Shane expectantly (but filled with love) and Ryan, who only toned back into the chatter when Shane opened his mouth to speak, can't find it in himself to be bitter at her seeming attempt at wheedling something out of Shane. She's just too <em>nice.</em> Ryan won't be surprised if it happens within the following year. "Yeah," Shane says again after a sip of his drink and nervous half-smile forms on his face, his eyes filled with fondness and yet some other emotion that Ryan can't quite put his finger on as he looks back at his girlfriend and moves to put an arm around her shoulder, "maybe."</p><p>Ryan's stomach goes from nervous twisting to flipping-itself over in knots in a matter of seconds and suddenly, he's shooting up from his seat (almost knocking his chair off its legs) and storming away from the table (ignoring the worried calls of 'Woah- Ryan?' from the table, specifically Shane) and into the building, beelining to the bathroom. <em>Maybe.</em></p><p>The booze isn't sitting right in his stomach now, feeling acidic and bubbly and warm in a <em>sick </em>way in his abdomen, even though he was only four drinks in. When he reaches the bathroom, it's almost instantaneous as he reaches a toilet that he drops to his knees and his head plunges forward a bit as a lot of what was bubbling in his stomach comes back up. When he thinks he's done, about two minutes after he'd entered a stall, he falls back a little, landing on his butt on the floor and leaning against the stall door. The metal is cold on his head and neck, which has developed a few little beads of sticky sweat. Ryan lets his eyes close and tries to feel the cold of the door, letting it cool him down a little. He feels far too warm and his stomach feels far too nauseated. He almost can't tell if the liquid that rolls down his cheek is a tear or a bead of sweat, but he doesn't wipe it away regardless. He puts his hand on the cold tile floor and his fingers search for comfort in the gravelly texture of the grout between tiles.</p><p>He feels like he's about to puke again when he hears the door open and a concerned voice calls 'Ry?' into the echoey bathroom. Ryan mentally thanks God that it's a Wednesday, otherwise there'd be a million people that he's puking around in this bathroom. Ryan's breath hitches a little and he feels his stomach flip again in a little bit of a different way than before. He's puking again, gross and gurgly. <em>God.</em></p><p>He must not have twisted the lock all the way because the door is nudged twice and then opens and soon a big familiar hand is on his back, rubbing circles into his shirt as Ryan spits what's left in his mouth into the toilet, his breathing short paced and heavy. Shane had said something to him, but Ryan couldn't hear him all that well. His head is pounding as if he's on the verge of being blackout drunk or even in the hangover stage already even though he just lost probably forty percent of the alcohol in his system. '-some water, okay?' No snarky remarks about being a lightweight yet. Ryan tries to lean back again without thinking and Shane directs his back to the wall next to the stall door. He doesn't say anything; Ryan thinks he's angry at him for a second, but a fast glimpse at his best friend shows his gentle smile and concerned half-lidded (because he's looking down at him, as always) eyes. "Spiked apple cider's too much for you, little guy?" Shane's hand had slid to Ryan's shoulder when he turned to lean against the wall, so now he's squeezing and un-squeezing his shoulder in a comforting pattern. Ryan, with his head leaned so crookedly back against the wall that his Adam's Apple bobs out, smiles tiredly and shrugs, breathing out of his mouth. <em>Sure, we'll just leave it at that. </em></p><p>He almost thinks about the actual reason again and feels his stomach get ready to push whatever was left in his abdomen out. His body jerks a little at the warning (he hears Shane say 'it's okay, buddy' and nudge his shoulder a bit to lean him towards the toilet) and he half-gags but nothing comes up, thankfully. He thinks it'd be stomach bile at this point. "Hey," Shane starts, his tone a bit softer than it was at the apple-cider-comment, "maybe we should get you home, yeah?" Ryan doesn't say anything, but he can feel himself nod a little. That sounds good, he can just call an Uber. They came in the crew car, Ryan doesn't have his car anyways, Sara met them there (so she can drive herself and Shane home). At least he won't have to endure any more wedding talk tonight.</p><p>Shane stands swiftly, then tugs at Ryan's underarm to help him up and Shane steadies him when he stumbles a bit. They start on their way back to their balcony table.</p><p>The skin of Ryan's lower back feels like electricity under Shane's soothing hand.</p><p>He moves it when they reach the door to the patio. </p><p>The group's attention turns to Shane and Ryan once they hear the footsteps moving towards them. Sara speaks first. "Hey, fellas," She says sweetly, voice filled with concern, her eyes searching Ryan and Shane's expressions. Ryan doesn't meet anybody's eyes. It isn't on purpose; he's starting to feel ill again. He just wants to get home. He does see Shane offer a smile in the corner of his eye before he speaks. </p><p>"Such a lightweight," He means it playfully; Ryan isn't in the mood to retort and he thinks Shane takes that as an insult by the way he can feel his gaze flick over to him, and his smile kind of falls. Ryan doesn't say anything still, just grabs his jacket and mumbles an ill-sounding 'sorry guys'. He hears Shane say something to the table about waiting for his Uber with him downstairs as he heads quickly but tipsily back to the stairs, blundering over a stray chair on his way. Hearing the noise, Shane catches up behind him to make sure he's steady. </p><p>It isn't long before they're sitting outside the bar on a cold metal bench. Despite the air being chilly, Ryan still feels unnervingly warm. Maybe it's just the remnants of alcohol in his system, but it isn't helping the queasiness of his stomach. He takes in a shaky breath and leans his head back against the building wall. </p><p>They sit quietly for a minute, Ryan's starting to get acid reflex from puking though, so quiet hiccups and soft pained groans fill some of the silence. Shane gets up and Ryan watches him, his long legs carrying him across the street to a drink machine. He puts in a bill, something comes out of the machine, then he puts in another bill and now Ryan's closing his eyes, but he can hear the next drink fall and soon Shane's feet patting against the ground as he comes back. When he sits back down, he puts something so cold that Ryan jumps against the man's neck, but he eases into it. It feels good. </p><p>"Drink some of it," Shane says softly, sitting beside him again, opening his bottle of whatever it is and taking a sip. Ryan moves it from his neck, his hand brushing against Shane's long fingers. He feels his ears heat up; he hopes Shane doesn't notice. He takes the top off, hearing the ring cracking as the lid opens, and put the drink to his lips. It's water. It's just water, but Ryan's heart aches with the hope that it's water that's filled with meaning, longing for it to be hiding something because <em>Shane got him one without asking him first</em>. He knows it isn't. That's just how Shane is, he reminds himself: selfless, caring, sweet, (his heart jumps a little bit) <em>perfect</em>. </p><p>"'ank you," He groans a little at the coldness of the water going down his throat, a little still in his mouth cutting off the beginning of his appreciation. There are a few more minutes of silence and then Shane's the first to speak again. "What's wrong, Ry?"</p><p>Ryan doesn't say anything. He'd already decided (a while back, after going through things like this a couple of times) that it's easier to remain silent than to lie. He doesn't want to lie to Shane. He won't.</p><p>Shane talks again when Ryan doesn't. "You were fine all night," Shane says, and Ryan is forced to recall that he's had a few drinks too when the alcohol on Shane's breath reaches his nose. "You were fine," He repeats, and <em>god, why is he being so repetitive?</em> "You were fine until Sara said that." Ryan moves his head to look down now, un-craning his neck. His thumbs have a war with themselves where they meet on top of the water bottle he's holding.</p><p>"I mean," Shane's eyebrows furrow and he looks down, then over at Ryan, "does being my best man sound that <em>bad</em> to you? So bad that you puke?" <em>God, no. No, no, no, </em>Ryan wants to reason, wants to turn to his best friend and apologize profusely, but he can't. Because it <em>does </em>sound that bad, and he can't lie to him. He does lift his head though, meets his gaze, and feels his heart surge with cracking. Shane's a little past tipsy, Ryan knows that, but the look in his eyes doesn't feel like a glassy alcoholic haze.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Do you not like Sara?" Ryan falters a little and his eyes widen. "I mean, do you not think she's good for me?" Now Ryan feels guilty like his best friend feels like he doesn't support him, feels guilty because he knows he <em>should</em> support him. Feels guilty because now Shane has this look in his eye, one that feels like he's asking for approval, and for a second Ryan wonders why he wants him to approve of her so much. Then he reminds himself that they're best friends.</p><p>They're best friends.</p><p>"No, man," Ryan says, looking down and when Shane draws back a little at this, Ryan fumbles to correct himself. "I mean, yes, I do think she is. She's great," He says, his tone filled with something on the edge of <em>but</em>, and it makes his voice crack. "She's great." He says again, almost like he's reminding himself of it, this time making eye contact with his best friend. He ignores the way his skin covers in goosebumps at the intimacy of the eye contact under the moonlight by themselves. </p><p>They're best friends.</p><p>Shane's phone buzzes in his pocket, thank god. It cuts off Ryan's thoughts, cuts off the eye contact that makes him feel like he owes Shane an explanation. "Shit," he mumbles, swiping something on the screen away and putting his phone back into his pocket. "I'll be right back," He says and gets up, going back inside. Ryan leans back and considers that maybe Shane's just gonna stay upstairs and go back to having fun, what he should've been doing this whole time before Ryan ruined it.</p><p>The thought doesn't last long, though, because Shane's coming back out of the door, hastily shoving his corduroy jacket on, probably so that his arms don't have to continue to experience the chilly December air. "The Uber driver canceled the ride, let's just walk it?" Shane nods his head in the opposite direction. "It's not like your apartment is far."</p><p>"How will you get home then? <em>Your </em>apartment is far." Ryan regrets asking. For a second, he thinks that Shane's answer will be 'Sara will come to fetch me' but they've all been drinking; all of them will be Ubering home anyway.</p><p>"Maybe that Uber won't cancel on me." Shane makes a dumb face and Ryan can't help but smile a little.</p><p>They walk for around eight minutes in complete silence amongst each other, the only noise shrouding their bubble being those of the city around them and the pitter-patter of their footsteps. Ryan's stomach still feels uncomfortably warm, but now instead of tangles, it's like bugs are crawling through his intestines. The thought makes his face go sour.</p><p>"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"</p><p>"Wha? Oh, I was thinking about bugs crawling through my organs-"</p><p>"Oh, god, <em>what</em>?" Shane raises his eyebrows, a stunned half-grin on his face before he shakes his head. "No, dude, I meant like, with," He waves his left hand, a senseless gesture that adds zero to the conversation, "earlier." Ryan doesn't say anything at first. There's not much he can say, considering the truth isn't an option. So he decides on something else. It takes him a second of staring at the ground and dragging his feet a little before he says it. </p><p>"You're my best friend," he starts and he hopes it doesn't sound as sad as it makes him feel, "if you want me to be your best man, I'm your best man. I'm the first and only option for it, really-" He tries to joke, but Shane interrupts him.</p><p>"But you don't want that," Shane says immediately and stops walking. Ryan is a few steps ahead of him before he notices and stops too, turning to face him. </p><p>They aren't even walking the easiest way to get to Ryan's apartment. They're on some street that's put them six more blocks further than they had been and seemingly neither of them had even noticed. Ryan wonders if Shane knew - if he did it on purpose to give them more time to talk. He isn't sure if he wants that to be the answer or not.</p><p>"Shane, I <em>do</em> want that, if that's what you-"</p><p>"Ryan-"</p><p>"She makes you happy, man-"</p><p>"Ryan, why aren't you-"</p><p>"Is that what you want me to be?" Ryan asks suddenly, his tone louder and more confident than it was previously. He's making eye contact with him now. It's the alcohol in his system making him more outspoken, he thinks. He feels like he's going to do something he regrets. "Your best man?"</p><p>Shane's drawn speechless for a second, his eyes wide and staring at Ryan. His dark beige corduroy jacket is buttoned up most of the way and his red scarf (for style, not warmth) is wrapped around him, a little stuck in the jacket, but the end still hangs out of it, getting caught in the 'icy' (its December in LA, it's like forty-nine degrees) breeze. His pale cheeks are the faintest rose pink from the slight cold. "Ryan, I-" He pauses, a sort of laugh escaping him as his eyes flicker to the ground, "we aren't even <em>engaged</em>, I mean-"</p><p>"That doesn't-" Ryan takes his hands out of his pockets and almost scoffs with frustration, dropping them at his sides. "Just- answer me. Is that what you want me to be? Theoretically?" Shane falters for a moment, his mouth open after being interrupted as he watches Ryan intently, then he closes his mouth and looks down. When Shane doesn't say anything, Ryan repeats himself. "You are my <em>best friend.</em>" He says, his tone softer now like he's begging him to <em>tell him the truth</em>. Shane looks up from the ground now.</p><p>"What if I told you," Shane almost whispers, "I've only thought about the idea of marrying her when I'm worried I'll end up alone if I don't?" Ryan's face falls expressionless, then goes to furrowing one brow.</p><p>"W-" He shakes his head a little, squeezing his eyes shut, then opening them again. "You don't want to marry her?"</p><p>"If you hadn't run off before me, I would've been in there losin' my lunch too."</p><p>"Why are you with someone you don't want to marry?"</p><p>"I-... I don't know, Ry, I-" There's a fence that belongs to a coffee shop (they're closed right now, just like everything else on this street, it's one in the morning, which explains why there are no cars) a few feet away; Shane shuffles over to lean against it. "She's a great person, I <em>love </em>her," Ryan feels his heart ache a little, "anyone would be so lucky to have that girl love them that way." Ryan waits for Shane to say more but when he doesn't, Ryan walks back a little to stand in front of Shane, about three feet of distance between them. Now Ryan's brain has immediately gone from 'don't accidentally admit that I'm hopelessly in love with you' to 'wait, you aren't happy? My best friend isn't happy?'</p><p>"But..." Ryan starts cautiously, moving his head to get Shane to meet his eyes. When he does, he continues. "Not you?" Shane makes a weird sort of frown, the kind that has pursed lips and watery eyes. He shakes his head a little and it almost looks like his frown turns into a 'Jim Halpert' face. </p><p>"Not me," He's full-on whispering now, his legs crossed in front of him as he leans on the gate. Shane doesn't look unprepared when Ryan asks him the inevitable 'why?'</p><p>Ryan's eyebrows are furrowed in confusion as he waits for an answer and he notices that Shane almost looks hesitant. His gaze moves to the ground and he kicks at nothing for a second, so Ryan mumbles a soft 'hey' and when Shane looks up, he speaks again. "You're my best friend." There's a silent 'you can talk to me' that goes without saying.</p><p>"Ryan," Shane laughs again, his cheeks are turning a different shade of pink. "You are a world-class idiot." Ryan goes from feeling peaceful heartache to pure annoyance, and just as he's about to make some shitty ass remark (one that involves 'wow' and 'shut up, Shane' and maybe a 'kiss my ass'), Shane says something that makes Ryan's world feel like it has come to a halt.</p><p>"We're not just best friends," His voice has gone back down to a whisper, not because it sounds like a secret, but because it sounds too intimate for anybody else to be a part of. Ryan's heart is beating so hard he thinks he's going to puke again. "You know that," Shane continues, his gaze not leaving Ryan's. He can't think, can't move, can't breathe. "You've known that. You had to," Shane's chewing the inside of his cheek a little. "I feel like everyone has known; I'd be shocked if Sara doesn't, honestly," Ryan remembers when Shane moved his hand from his lower back earlier when they were going up to the patio before Sara or anybody else saw them. It makes a little sense now; he connects some imaginary dots in his head somewhere.</p><p>The first thing he can think to say is- "You-.. You're drunk, big guy." Wow, he struggled to get that out. He feels like he's going to burst into tears. Or puke. Or both. Shane pushes off of the fence to stand up straight.</p><p>"They were all virgin," He says plainly and Ryan cringes because <em>how did the topic get on his ex-significant others</em>-</p><p>"Oh, <em>god</em>, why are you telling me <em>that</em>-"</p><p>"No, no, you idiot," Ryan's sour expression falls a bit as he makes eye-contact with Shane again. "The drinks. I ordered them all virgin except for like, two - I'm tipsy but that's it. I promise."</p><p>Ryan dumbly mutters out a shy 'okay'. Not just best friends? What the hell does that mean then? Shane backtracks, taking a careful step towards Ryan, who feels almost completely sober now. Thank god he guzzled three-fourths of that water bottle in the first ten minutes of silence. "No," Shane finally answers. "I don't want you to be my best man." Ryan's hearts speeding up even more somehow. He can hardly think.</p><p>"I'm not, uh, ordained for- for marrying people-" Shane rolls his eyes so hard that it looks like he's possessed for a moment. </p><p>"Good golly mother of <em>god</em>, Ry," He's almost laughing, his smile is huge with awe, probably at Ryan's stupidity. "Are you drunk?" Ryan shakes his head nervously. <em>What in the fuck is happening. </em>"You aren't drunk and you're <em>sure </em>you don't just so happen to be an ordained minister?" This knocks Ryan into reality for just long enough to laugh and Shane laughs with him. He takes another step closer to him. They're only about a foot apart now. Shane's cheeks are bright pink, his lips are <em>right there</em>, Ryan wonders if he looks like an idiot, then he wonders if he's dreaming. His mouth is open, lips slightly parted, and he feels like he can feel the heat radiating off of Shane's body.</p><p>"I really, really don't want you to be my best man," Shane starts, his voice soft and breathy now, "especially if you're not even cool enough to be an ordained minister." Ryan wonders if Shane knows how close he is standing to him. </p><p>"O-okay," His eyes are huge, like a deer in headlights as he cranes his neck to look up at Shane, and because 'okay' is all he feels like he can say, he repeats it: "Okay."</p><p>"Ryan, I-" Shane takes a huge breath in, lifting his shoulders with it, then breathes it out with his words. "I think-" There's another pause, and Ryan feels like he can already hear the words he's about to say and his heart feels like it's collapsing on itself like an exploding star- "I think you'd beat the record for world's shortest ordained minister." And now Ryan's laughing, and he can tell it sounds a little like crying, but it's laughing all the same. </p><p>"Well," Ryan whispers (now he's wondering when the foot apart turned into four inches apart), he sees Shane's eyes glance at his lips and his heart skips a beat, "it's a good thing I'm not getting- uh, o-ordained or whatever." Shane's toothless smile warms his entire body up and there's a second of silence before Shane talks again.</p><p>"We're not just best friends," he whispers and this time Ryan just shakes his head, his eyes still the size of dinner plates. </p><p>He isn't sure who leaned in first, but all Ryan knows is that whoever initiated it, Shane Madej's lips, chapped but somehow soft at the same time, are pressed against his now, and <em>god, it feels so right.</em> It feels like everything he's dreamed of and <em>more </em>since his love for Shane was just a pitiful crush on another intern. It feels like Christmas morning, it feels like he got all the brackets correct in March Madness, it feels like front seats at a Lakers game but <em>twenty times better</em>. Ryan's inner monologue stops when he realizes <em>fuck, I'm not moving </em>and after a second of fighting past his initial shock, he brings his right hand up to the back of Shane's head and pushes into the kiss, gently and yet full of passion and he can't stop questioning whether or not this is actually happening.</p><p>It feels more real when he feels Shane's hand on his lower back, pulling him closer to him and tilting his head into the warm kiss, deepening it without pressuring it further. It's calm, slow, passionate, and romantic. Ryan feels like they're floating, like there's nobody in the world but he and Shane. The sounds around them are all blocked out, Ryan wonders if the noises even exist right now; it's almost like all he hears is the intro to 'Wonder' by Shawn Mendes. The kiss feels so cheesy and romantic and indie, and if this is what those movies are telling stories about, Ryan wants to watch twenty more - all of them with Shane right beside him.</p><p>He brings his other arm up, his left hand now meeting his right at its spot entangled in Shane's hair. Shane's hands are rubbing up and down Ryan's sides soothingly like they've been longing to be on him, longing just to hold him. He feels Shane smile into the kiss, breathily laughing against his lips and Ryan can't help but do the same. After a second or two more, they pull back from the kiss, but not away from each other. </p><p>They stand there like that for a few minutes, just busy being enveloped in each other for the first time, and then Ryan's the first one to talk. "I never wanted to be just best friends," He says softly and his eyes flutter open, making eye contact with Shane again. "I think you know that."</p><p>-</p><p>Sara lives in New York now and she's even started seeing someone there but she hasn't disclosed much information to the boys about him. </p><p>"Why not? All I want is a name," Ryan said into his phone, smiling at Sara through the screen, who's getting ready for her fourth date with the mystery person.</p><p>"Can't, Bergara!" She says happily, swiping an eyelash with a mascara wand before moving it a little out of the way to put the cap on and look at Ryan. "Can't risk you stealing this one too!" Sara sends Ryan a wink through FaceTime and Ryan can't help but feel a little guilty. His smile falls just a little and he looks away nervously. It's a funny joke, but it's not one that Ryan feels allowed to laugh at.</p><p>Shane thinks it's hilarious though, apparently, as he hollers a laugh from the kitchen of their apartment. It makes Ryan's once falling smile brighten again and he calls a 'shut up, Shane!' through the room. Sara laughs with him and then, after glancing at herself in the mirror, her phone vibrates and the camera is looking at the ceiling for a second (it must've fallen) before Sara picks it up. "He's here! Gotta go! Bye, guys!" And then the call hangs up before Ryan's even processed it.</p><p>A year has passed, Shane and Ryan's one year anniversary is coming up in around a month. Ryan's no longer a pining mess, thank <em>god</em>, he can be head over heels in love with his best friend without being absolutely miserable now. He's happier than he's ever been, and he thinks Shane is too.</p><p>He nudges Obi off of his lap gently before getting up to head towards the kitchen where Shane is making dinner. He walks up beside him, wedges his way under his arms to fit himself between Shane and the counter, and facing him, he wraps his arms around Shane's waist. He's filled with warmth when a chuckling Shane wraps his arms around him in return.</p><p>"I didn't steal you, did I?" Ryan asks quietly, nuzzling his head into Shane's chest. Shane laughs through his nose and kisses the top of Ry's head.</p><p>"She's just messing with you," He hums, his chin bouncing on Ryan's head as he talks. "You couldn't have stolen what you already had, baby," He says with a little bit of a laugh at his cheesy 'baby', then continues with a gentler tone. "I just hadn't figured it out. I don't think I figured it out until.." Shane stops to think for a moment, then hums in an amused sort of surprise. "Until Sara suggested you being my best man. Huh." </p><p>Ryan's brows furrow a little and for a second he's confused. "Huh?" He questions, then his eyes widen in a sort of realization.</p><p>Later that night while Ryan's texting Sara about details from her date (that went <em>wonderfully</em>, by the way!), Ryan decides it can't hurt to ask.</p><p>
  <strong>Me: i know this is a weird question, but bear with me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: bear?? I always thought it was bare</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Me: i did 2 but i googled so i didn't look dumb</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: does that make me dumb then</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Me: why weren't you shocked when Shane broke things off with you</strong>
</p><p>It's a cajoling question at first, but Ryan wants a raw and unaffected answer. He doesn't want the way he asks it to affect the outcome.</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: you haven't figured that out already? so much for detective brain Bergara</strong>
</p><p>Ryan smiles to himself, laughing a little, and sees the typing bubble come up so he waits for Sara to reply again.</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: I had come to terms with it already. actlly a few months b4 that night at the bar, but I waited to be sure </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: it didn't take much for me to be sure tho. somebody could know u two for five minutes and be sure</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: i grieved for a little while but I knew for a long time I think. maybe even before Shane &amp; I were official </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: maybe that's why it always felt like something was offset between all three of us</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: but anyways, I asked Shane about you being his best man bc as smart as he is, i didn't think he'd come to an answer without a push and idk you know how stubborn he is, talking to him wouldn't have done the trick</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: Shane &amp; i had a joint uber account at the time, made it super easy to cancel ur ride home LOL</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: you guys needed more time to talk and that cancel button was so bright and prettyyy</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: I mean do u even rly need this explanation? i mean come on ry, someone had to push you two into it</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sara: you two were never just friends, you know that</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sooo, I hadn't finished writing this when I typed the first note LOL. This feels all over the place and I'm not sure if I'm super proud of it but YOU KNOW WHAT, most of it was written in the late hours of the night/early hours of the morning. AKA, three AM. actually, all of it was. and it was just self-indulged writing without a storyboard or anything to help it make sense so I'm rly sorry if its confusing!!! i hope you like it nonetheless &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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